Introduction:
I know sleep tip guides abound on the internet, but I promise these 15 tips include some things not found elsewhere. Why is this important? Because sleep deprivation is toxic and can kill you.
This post may contain Amazon Associates affiliate links, that I may earn small amounts from. See the bottom of this page for more details.
Lack of sleep is a life ruiner.
Before I had kids, I had lifelong sleep problems and tried and read just about everything. I even thought about creating a blog called “First World Insomniac.” People have asked what I’ve learned and what actually worked for me (before I had kids. Now, I think the kids are the main thing holding me back from a full night’s rest 😅).
Hazards of Sleep Deprivation:
People don’t take sleep deprivation seriously, but it has so many real, terrible effects: Mental and physical deterioration (impaired on the same level as being drunk), mood swings, repetitive anxious thoughts, faster aging, memory loss, slow metabolism and cravings, effects on fertility, immune system, cardiovascular system, increased dementia risk, cancer risk, 200% increased risk of fatal heart attack or stroke. Your brain basically starts eating itself and brain cells and connections are killed, possibly irreversibly.
“…The lack of blood allows for cerebrospinal fluid, a clear liquid that surrounds the brain, to flow in. Then it flows out again, taking with it toxins such as beta amyloids that naturally accumulate in the brain and can lead to diseases like Alzheimer’s. It turns out that our deep sleep is filled with these “slow waves” of cerebrospinal fluid flowing in and out of the brain and washing away toxins each time, sort of like a washing machine”
Another good reason to optimize your sleep is that melatonin (a hormone related to sleep) seems to boost immunity, specifically against Covid 19. It is a possibility that the reason kids aren’t being as affected by coronavirus is because they naturally make more melatonin, which decreases with age. Sounds weird, but this is one of those things that can’t hurt, as long as you’re producing the melatonin naturally. Will discuss more about that below.
Through my struggles I have definitely found that one thing that causes problems is that it’s hard for our bodies to know when it’s time to sleep because humans spend so much time inside (especially because of the pandemic) with artificial light. It messes with circadian rhythm and natural melatonin production. So a couple of the tips focus on exposing yourself to daylight during the day and avoiding light at night.
Tips:
1. Biggest tip: Avoid artificial light at night and try orange or red “blue blocking” (link to article) glasses and light bulbs.💡 Regular bulbs mimic daylight, but orange ones don’t, so this will help get you sleepy by helping the brain know that it is night and time to naturally make melatonin (it’s a hormone, and I don’t recommend supplements). The glasses (link to article) really work! But you have to keep them on or eliminate all regular light and screen exposure if you’re going to take them off. I use the bulbs in the bathroom so I can shower without the glasses, and I have them in lamps I can use at night. There are also nightlight versions. You can start using them at sunset or an hour or two before bed. Amazon Associates link to glasses I use: https://amzn.to/3GYlmY3 and bulbs I use:
Turn off or block all lights in the bedroom, even the little charger lights. Also use settings on phones to filter the light (it’s called night shift on iphone and you can have it automatically turn on at night. I have mine on all the time; easier on the eyes). You can also look up how to set up a red light filter on your phone to block out even more light. Flux or similar programs exist for computers.
Research does show (source: Durand, et. al.) that LIGHT may play a role (e.g. brightness of full moon) in evoking “awake” responses (e.g. brightness of a full moon entering a room can often mimic the light of early morning sunrise and confuse the “system” into “thinking” it’s time to awake). This is the same effect that artificial light has too.
2. Consume ZERO caffeine or alcohol. ☕️ That’s right, NONE. I don’t care if it didn’t used to affect you; that can change over time and both are proven sleep disruptors: caffeine especially for falling asleep and alcohol for sleep quality and not being able to fall back asleep in the middle of the night. This is one reason I stopped drinking alcohol completely. Caffeine takes a full 24 hours to completely leave your body, so even a cup in the morning can keep you up at night.
3. Get up in the morning and go outside in the sun. ☀️ I resisted this tip for years but it really helps your body to know when it is time to be awake or not. I’ve read to expose the backs of the knees to the sun. Anytime the UV index is 3 or above, you can get some Vitamin D too. For this, ideally you would expose a large patch of skin, like your back, or as much as possible. The best time to get Vitamin D is 11am-1pm. Thirteen minutes 3 times a week is enough for most people but it depends on several factors. I use the D Minder app. I’ve read it’s also good to expose your eyes to the sun (not looking at the sun; your gaze can even be looking down and still be able to have sunlight hitting them). I usually do that in the morning. When I do my vitamin D time, I usually wear a hat to protect my face. You could also try a SAD lamp, but going outside is better. Link: How sun exposure affects sleep and melatonin.
4. Another tip for the daytime is to get some exercise. 🏋️♀️ Sleep is recovery. “If you haven’t done anything you need to recover from, you’re not going to sleep particularly well”—an especially important reminder in the age of the quarantine. This has also been proven effective to combat depression.
It isn’t necessary to go to a gym; you can do things at home, go for a walk (and get vitamin D as explained above), or at the very least try to incorporate more movement as much as possible throughout your day. More intense workouts are great too; this will help you be more physically tired at the end of the day. However, exercise at night may contribute to issues falling asleep because your heart rate may still be elevated. Check out my fitness tips and tips for How to Maintain Fitness Despite Health Challenges.
5. It is not recommended to eat right before bed, but personally I can’t sleep if I’m hungry. 🥘 So try to plan accordingly but eat if you need to. Beware of getting out of control though, because by the end of the day your willpower is exhausted. So maybe have something healthy already planned and ready to go. Avoid processed foods, dairy and nightshade veggies if you have joint pain. Link to more information about how different foods affect sleep. It mentions the more sleep you get, the fewer calories you eat the next day.
6. Your room should be DARK when you turn out the light. Use blackout blinds or curtains if needed. 🌚 Remove any sources of light (even alarm clocks aren’t recommended). If you really must have a nightlight, use one with a small orange light bulb. If needed, try a cloth eye mask (not too tight though because that can disturb REM sleep).
7. Assess your pain level before bed. Would something along the lines of a warm bath, massage cream or a foam roller help loosen your knots? Gentle slow Yoga stretches help relax muscles and wind your body and mind down. 🧘🏻♀️ Here is my guide to less toxic yoga mats.
8. Do you know your comfort preferences and have everything you need? 🛌 Is your room a good temperature? Do you have your preferred sleepwear (if any) and adequate pillows and blankets? If you like heavy blankets, you might try a weighted one. I need to sleep with a body pillow to keep my knees from knocking together, and because I like to snuggle the pillow.
Another huge tip from me is if you are a side sleeper, try to position yourself as if you are sitting in a high back chair, sort of like the fetal position but with a straight neck and back. I have found that bending both knees and pulling them up high like that has a profound impact on my comfort level; it’s like it erases back strain I didn’t realize was there. I also recommend having your knees stacked one right on top of the other; same with shoulders and hips; i.e. don’t be twisted at all.
I also can’t sleep unless I rinse my feet or shower before bed, and can’t sleep with socks. So assess what is distracting you and don’t discount the little things that seem insignificant; they could make all the difference for you.
You may have heard about giving babies their mothers clothing to comfort them (avoiding suffocation risks of course). Apparently there is research that the same is true for adults; The scent of your partner’s shirt could make you sleep better and longer.
9. An original tip I haven’t seen elsewhere: do you have a song stuck in your head? 🎶 I listen to meditation/relaxation music on Pandora before bed to clear out any other songs in my head without leaving a catchy melody. Sometimes I put on binaural beats (downloaded, because I put phone on airplane mode at night) when I’m actually going to sleep.
Noise in general is something to consider. Do you like quiet or white noise? Try earplugs if needed.
10. Mentally close up shop for the day. 🙏🏼 Let go of any bad emotions and take a moment to be grateful for everything you are thankful about that day. Make a quick list of things to do tomorrow so you’re not fixated on remembering them. If you struggle with too many thoughts, focus on your breath. It’s as simple as just counting to 3 during each inhale and exhale. Or you can try a breathing app such as “Nightwave” or phone apps. You can also experiment with “478” breathing. Mindfulness and cognitive therapy are also proven to help.
Perhaps before trying prescription sleep aids, try over the counter unisom. Be aware that Benadryl and Nyquil ZZZ have the same ingredients as over the counter sleeping pills, so use those with caution too. Many sleeping pills may also make you feel very groggy the next day. I have personally noticed that any supplements that are dyed, particularly blue, have very negative effects of my demeanor.
11. When you first get in bed, don’t purposely shut your eyes. 👀 Let your eyes naturally get heavy and need to close themselves. A further trick is actually trying to keep them from staying closed, so you start a fight with your eyes and eventually let them win by closing.
12. The best time ⏰ to sleep is between 10 pm and 2 am. Kids should go to bed earlier, BUT if a late bedtime is working for your family and the kids are getting enough sleep at night, the most important thing is consistently with bedtimes. Be careful with napping; short cat naps can be beneficial, but if you take long naps, there’s a good chance your ability to go to sleep at a good hour will be difficult. See kids section below for more about kids. Trying to make up for sleep on the weekends doesn’t work.
If you wake up alert in the middle of the night, the concept of having ‘1st and 2nd’ blocks of sleep with a period of being awake in the middle has historical basis and is not a reason to be alarmed. If you have flexibility in your day and night schedules, it may work for you to get up for a while. For most people, it is simply more convenient to sleep all in one block. If you can’t fall back asleep, try avoiding alcohol and sleeping pills (this is ironic, but some sleeping pills wear off and cause some people to feel alert).
How many hours to sleep varies. There is evidence to support that quality (i.e., nothing waking you hourly… sorry parents) may be more important than quantity, so you might be able to do well with fewer hours of sleep. However, there is also research that shows the less you sleep, the shorter your life.
13. If none of these tips are helping (but did you actually try them?), it may be prudent to visit a doctor 👨⚕️, as people who struggle with sleep have underlying /hidden neurological or health issues that don’t have clear symptoms and are very hard to test/diagnose and even if they are identified, they are hard to treat. Possibilities include anxiety, restless leg syndrome, adrenal fatigue, liver stress, parasites, exposure to mold (which may not be visible in the home or workplace) or heavy metals, Candida overgrowth, vitamin imbalances, food intolerances (including sensitivity to food dyes and additives), histamine intolerance, ADHD, etc. Insomnia may be also related to hormones, and PMS.
If you notice any breathing difficulties including mouth breathing or snoring regularly, it might be a good idea to have your (or your child’s) adenoids checked or possibly do a sleep study to rule out apnea or other issues.
14. Supplements. 💊 This is often what people want to try first, but I recommend beginning with the other things. A magnesium supplement is a good start because most people are deficient. There’s many types to look into, but I read that it’s best absorbed through the skin, so sprays and lotions are easy. You can also add magnesium flakes and/ or epsom salt to a bath.
Other natural supplements for sleep include valerian (the best herbal type that worked for me, though I recommend capsules because it tastes bad), Phosphatidylserine https://amzn.to/47PiSYA, glycine https://amzn.to/3ub0nQp, inositol (this seemed a safer option for pregnancy but always consult your doctor) or L Tryptophan.
I also finally tried CBD oil for both daytime and night, and really felt a difference! After much consideration, I bought Cornbread Hemp brand, and I wrote a post about it!
If you take any other supplements, it’s probably best to take them 5 or more hours before bedtime. Vitamins including D and Bs can be stimulating.
Melatonin supplements are misunderstood and overused. People seem to think it is a sleeping pill that will knock you out, but that is not necessarily true. Some sources say they are safe, but some say they can lead to imbalances and many negative effects (see kids section for more). They definitely can cause nightmares. I personally recommend avoiding melatonin supplements, because melatonin is a hormone, and we don’t want to mess with the balance of hormones. It can also affect menstrual cycles. The amounts listed on the packaging can vary widely (link to scientific paper), so you might end up taking a lot more than you intended.
Things like avoiding artificial light by using the orange glasses and light bulbs mentioned in tip #1 can help your body naturally produce melatonin at night. Artificial light disrupts the process because your brain thinks it’s sunlight and therefore time to be awake. So at sunset or an hour or two before bed, if you either use orange light bulbs or wear orange glasses, you’ll block the artificial light. Basically your brain thinks it’s dark and is able to produce the melatonin.
If you get very desperate and want to try a melatonin supplement, don’t take too much, as most people do. The proper dosage, according to a seminal 2001 study from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, is 0.3 milligrams. Pills and supplements often sell 10 times that suggested amount in a single dose. This can lead to higher plasma melatonin levels the next day, which can cause a “hangover” effect that leaves users groggy. When the brain’s melatonin receptors are exposed to too much of the hormone, they become unresponsive.
Most pills are sold as 3 mg or 5 mg so you may have to cut the pills. I haven’t looked extensively into different types of supplements, but Wink Naturals is a liquid (so you can take very small amounts) and avoids most additional ingredients. Amazon Associates link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074WHLX8T/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_RGKK665J0PG808TYETHR?linkCode=ml2&tag=cleangreentox-20
This article (hyperlink) helps explain what situations will actually be effective and useful to take melatonin.
Prescription sleep aids should be used as a very last resort and with extreme caution. They can be helpful for very occasional use like for travel, but be careful! It is easy for your body to become reliant on them, but also develop a tolerance to them so they become ineffective. That’s the worst, I promise. It’s like you have to take them but they don’t work and then you’re awake with no last resort left. Also it may be possible that they just mess with your memory, so even if you think they work, it may be that you just don’t remember being awake. They have even been linked to suicide. Insomnia is better for you, long-term health-wise than taking sleeping pills.
15. Screens 🤳 were mentioned regarding light, but it’s definitely worth mentioning separately… put your phone away and go to bed! Addiction to smartphones will result in poor sleep, according to a new study.
BONUS Tip: Somewhere I read an article that said that 1 hour of resting equates to 15 minutes of sleep. So if you tried to sleep or nap and didn’t, it wasn’t a total loss. Also here’s an article that claims meditation can have similar effects.
Considerations Specifically for Kids:
One of the most common parenting struggles is with children’s sleep. Before I had my first child, I read a few books about baby sleep tips and it seemed so simple. After she was born, I wanted to throw the books in a fire because that’s all they seemed good for. I personally know the horrors of difficult sleep struggles and extensive sleep deprivation. I have done quite a bit of reading into baby and kid sleep. All of the tips above (such as avoiding light, screens, and anything stimulating) except most supplements, can work for babies or kids too, as well as some additional thoughts in this section.
If you scrolled down just for the kids tips, I recommend making sure you are also getting enough sleep. It affects parenting patience, and this my relationship with my kids, like nothing else.
The thing I to say first want to say is, I highly recommend ignoring anything that a non-parent advises you about kids. They think it’s so simple. Same goes for parents who had kids who always slept easily. They may think it was because of something they did, and perhaps that is true, but a likely reason is because… they got lucky. The problem of kids not sleeping is frustrating enough without people making you feel worse. Some kids sleep easily and some DO NOT, no matter what you do. So it isn’t necessarily your fault or an easy fix. I’ve put together 8 considerations that may help.
CONSIDERATION #1: Awake times and sleep amounts. This is one of the most helpful tips I can share!
Knowing some general time lengths that babies typically stay awake is very helpful to know when to really keep an eye out for sleep cues (such as rubbing eyes or yawning), and plan your life accordingly. Be ready to act quickly when you see the sleep cues, to avoid kids getting overtired , which actually makes them act wired and wild.
Here are general windows of appropriate “awake time” lengths (google will bring up more charts):
In my case, right now baby is awake during the day for 3-4 hours before needing a nap or sleep. But his sleep length is variable, so that means a schedule doesn’t work here (which is hard, but worth mentioning because schedules just don’t work for some babies. So rather than expect babies to fall asleep at the same time each day, this tip is about recognizing that may depend on when baby last woke up).
Also note that not all babies/ kids follow charts exactly; for example, it took my baby longer to drop the third nap (but it made everything easier when he finally was ready to). Also, if he wakes earlier than usual, he often will only stay awake 2 hours before needing a nap. So watch for the cues foremost.
CONSIDERATION #2: Health conditions (in addition to the ones listed above already) can be a major cause of sleep issues.
My kids have both been horrible sleepers from birth, and it is NOT because of anything we did wrong or should have done differently as far as the sleep. They both had issues such as reflux/ GERD, which causes pain (this can also be possible in adults; otherwise known as heartburn). We tried so many different things for both sleep and reflux. For reflux and gas, I wish I had found the BabyCues ebooks (I get no benefit of sharing but I do recommend buying them; the info can’t be found elsewhere) sooner, but even after I read it, we still have major sleep issues so there’s something else going on.
My older child has some other health conditions and factors and the younger shows symptoms too. I’m gearing up to write a separate blog about reflux, but for now I will say I strongly recommend the book above, especially before trying any type of prescription anti acid. From personal experience, those can make thing worse and have not actually been studied/ approved for use in babies.
CONSIDERATION #3: Dropping naps.
The conventional wisdom is that most kids nap until about age 4. BUT some kids refuse to or do better with dropping naps sooner. I was so reluctant to stop all napping of my older child when she was about 2.5 years old, but I was spending frustrating hours trying to get her to nap and then I had to stay with her or she would wake up. Dropping all naps did help bedtime go easier. If getting a break for yourself is key to your sanity, you can try to replace naps with a quiet/ rest time for kids in their room or safe space, perhaps with books or other low-key activities. In my case, this was not successful and wasn’t worth the stress of trying to force it.
CONSIDERATION #4: Routines.
You’ve probably heard this before. But if you’re reading this, it’s probably a good idea to re-evaluate what is or is not working about your bedtime routine. Or if you don’t really have one yet, commit to finding one. The tricky parts are finding a routine that works for your family, and sticking to it.
The specific time of bedtime is less important than going to bed at the same time each night. While kids might fight against a set bedtime, having a predictable sleep schedule can regulate their internal clock. Check the sleep charts again, but in general aim to have your child get 10 to 12 hours of sleep each night to prevent over-tiredness. If they have a set time they need to or just naturally wake up each day, work backward from that to find a bedtime, and then start your routine with ample time before the ideal falling asleep time. You want to remain calm yourself, which is hard if you are stressed because it has gotten too late and you’re rushing through the routine or skipping parts of it. Begin the routine at the same time every night and set an alarm for it if you need to.
The routine may include a bath or shower, and / or helping your child relax before bed with meditation, music, reading, or other soothing activities. Limit technology before bed. Stop using screens at least an hour before bed (the light suppresses melatonin, as explained above).
Depending on the age of the child, they may be able to start wearing the orange glasses mentioned. Or, you can do the nighttime routine with the orange light, but this may involve having one in the bathroom, hallway, their room, etc. One way to do this is have regular lightbulbs in the overhead lights, but have small lamps with the orange bulbs.
CONSIDERATION #5: Do what you gotta do.
This tip involves considering the option of letting go of pre-conceived “norms,” not caring what others think, or doing things you said you’d never do (wink to my husband, who declared that kids would never sleep in our bed but let’s our daughter in).
It is worth considering why we expect young kids to be able to sleep alone. After all, we as adults usually sleep with our partners, even though compared to kids, we are less likely to get scared or need assistance at night. Many cultures sleep in the same room as a family. Another option if you have more than one child, is seeing if they sleep better in the same room or same bed as each other. Yes, I realize that is not always the case, but is worth a thought.
My older child had to be held for almost all sleep until about 18 months and until recently, at 4.5 still didn’t sleep through the night. This is finally changing now that we are better addressing her health issues. My husband still sometimes has to lay next to her while she falls asleep, and sometimes sleeps all night next to her (she has a full size bed), while I’m up throughout the night with our younger one. Another option is letting your child sleep in your bed or room. Yes, I know all the worries about needing to break this at some point. But, sometimes the struggle of trying to force them to sleep alone in their own beds just isn’t worth the lost sleep to the whole family.
Also, until recently I spent hours each day getting our little one to nap and sleep (and then he usually only sleeps at most an hour). Some nights he takes almost 2.5 hours to go to sleep. We recently dropped from three naps to two and that has helped. Another “do what you gotta do” realization is that I stopped trying withhold breastfeeding just before naps if it “wasn’t time yet.” Now that he seems to have mostly outgrown the reflex, I don’t have to worry so much about his tummy getting too full, and I’ve realized he mostly does it for comfort. There’s research showing that breastfeeding helps release sleep hormones.
Also along the lines of this tip to “do what you gotta do” we still have to hold him (and sometimes walk or rock) until he falls asleep. The best time (least likely to wake them) to try to transfer a sleeping baby is 5-10 minutes after they fall asleep.
CONSIDERATION #6: Supplements.
I would strongly suggest looking into all of the considerations and tips above before turning to supplements for children. Then, if you really want to try one, first try one without melatonin. It’s important to note that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) hasn’t approved the use of melatonin for kids, and it can have many negative side effects and cause imbalances. Researchers still don’t know the long-term side effects of taking any amount, even occasionally. “Melatonin is a drug and should be seen as that,” says Judith Owens, M.D., director of the Sleep Center at Boston Children’s Hospital.
Dr. Owens also warns that the concentration of OTC melatonin in supplements can vary, and they may contain other chemicals, such as serotonin. One study found that some chewable tablets claiming to contain 1.5 milligrams of melatonin had as much as 9 milligrams.
Side effects from taking melatonin can include bed wetting, Seizure disorder, daytime sleepiness, nightmares, agitation, sleepwalking, constipation, diabetes, nausea, headache, diarrhea, sweating, and dizziness.
A few supplements without melatonin that are some of the “cleanest” I’ve seen:
Calm a Mama : https://amzn.to/3IPEUOT
Siddha Soothe and Sleep: https://amzn.to/3H3EJyL
Genexa Sleepology : https://amzn.to/3Arkbhj
IF you really get desperate enough to want to try melatonin, the Wink Naturals one I mentioned earlier at least has minimal ingredients and is a liquid so you can start drop by drop. https://amzn.to/3G2tZPQ
Most experts will recommend starting with a very low dose. Melatonin should be used with other behavioral interventions and for as short a time as possible. Because melatonin could mess up sleep schedules when taken at the wrong time, you shouldn’t give it to kids in the middle of the night. Also, while the supplement can aid kids who have major difficulty falling asleep, it might not help kids stay asleep.
CONSIDERATION #7: How many babies actually sleep through the night, and what does that even mean ?
The following is from the author of The Gentle Sleep Book, which I have NOT read and am not endorsing. It claims to have information on the science of baby and child sleep, evidence based expectations and how to improve sleep *without* sleep training.
Recent research has shown how warped our expectations of infant sleep are. A study of almost 400 babies assessed how much they really sleep (and how their sleep impacted them & their parents). They found:
At 6 months; almost 40% were not sleeping for chunks of 6hrs and almost 60% were not sleeping for chunks of 8 hours. At 12 months; almost 30% were not sleeping for chunks of 6hrs and almost 45% were not sleeping for chunks of 8 hours.
Considering most describe ‘sleeping through the night’ as sleeping from bedtime until morning, ie 12 hours, what this study found is that only half of one year olds are sleeping through, the other half are still waking regularly at night. It’s important to note this study relied on parentally reported data and we know parents under-report waking (ie: babies wake a lot more than parents think). So it’s likely that the babies were actually waking a lot more than this! Also, “sleeping through the night” is actually only 6 hours officially.
What the research also found is that there was no negative effect for the babies who were waking, and they were no more likely to suffer from mental or physical problems, or delays to their development, when compared to their peers who ‘slept through’. ie: it is NOT better for babies to sleep through the night & night waking is not a problem for them!
They also found that mothers of babies who woke at night were no more likely to suffer from postnatal mood disorders (e.g: PND) than mothers of babies who slept through.
CONSIDERATION #8: Sleep training.
These last two points are key when it comes to dire warnings issued by those in favour of sleep training – we now have research showing that it is NOT better for babies to sleep through, they don’t suffer in any way for it and also, it’s not better for mum’s emotional health either. Combine this with other research showing that after 6 months there is no difference in the sleep between babies who have been sleep trained and those who haven’t (ie sleep training does NOT teach better sleep!) and you have to wonder why sleep training is still so popular.
It is normal for babies and people in general to wake up and need feeding, diaper changing, a hug, etc. Some babies sleep through the night early on, and some don’t.
It is possible to do gentler forms of sleep training, that don’t involve “crying it out” (I’ll share more about that at the end). With my older child, we have tried to do things such as moving farther and farther away from her bed while she’s falling asleep.
I would like to try experimenting with my husband to see if he can soothe baby back to sleep, possibly with the addition of a baby bottle filled with water, instead of me nursing him during the night. However, from what I’ve seen so far, the baby seems truly hungry and quite unhappy if daddy is the one to pick him up when he wakes at night. If you do want to try this, it usually works better for whichever parent usually does the overnight feedings, to not be the one to try soothing to sleep without it.
I debated whether to discuss crying it out, and ultimately decided it is pertinent to include. First “crying it out” isn’t teaching babies to sleep. It’s teaching them to give up on someone coming to help them. Does it lead to kids no longer waking and/or crying? Sometimes. Due to certain brain physiology, some babies get exhausted from crying and eventually fall asleep. But some babies will scream for hours, sometimes even vomiting. It’s like they just keep revving themselves back up again.
Here is great research (note all are reputable, mainstream sources) against CIO:
1.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
2.http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/science-excessive-crying-harmful
3.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denene-millner/cry-it-out_b_1163864.html
Some of the writing in support of CIO claims that basically later in life, the kids didn’t have lasting trauma. In response, I thought of an analogy. Let’s say you were caretaker for an elderly parent or family member who is bedridden and dependent on you for all needs including feeding them. What if they called for you because they were hungry, and you didn’t answer, and they were so distraught they began to cry and scream hysterically and helplessly. Would you let them cry for five minutes? Or hours? Would you say it didn’t hurt them? If not, why would you do this to a baby? Why do people think it’s OK to ignore babies needs? Is it because they can’t talk back? Or because they won’t remember? Would it be ok if someone did that to you even if you didn’t remember? These are questions I have wondered about how people rationalize letting their babies think they have been abandoned and left to starve.
I really don’t mean to offend anyone about sleep training or have a debate. These are my thoughts and everyone is entitled to their own.
Happy sleeping 😴!
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